The Teen Girls excused themselves and picked a secluded area to group huddle. In a matter of seconds they decided that Mr. Reeves would be of no help to them at all.

"MR. REEEEEEEVES......" Alison called while spinning deftly out of the huddle, a tidy maneuver that attracted silent nods of admiration from the gang. "Mr. Reeves, we're just going to have to say a big no can... do..."

This is going to be hard to explain.

Alison made eye contact with Big K in order to emphasize the seriousness of her comment. He was looking in her general direction at least and she had decided to settle for that in her mind. Then, just as she was about to drop the bomb on him, Keanu Reeves began to deflate until his empty skin billowed to the floor like a shopping bag. The girls could not explain this phenomenon, but it had some one's evil laughter written all over it. The lights flickered. 

The theatre had meanwhile been lifted from the ground by helicopter and carried to the edge of a cliff. Again, this is hard to explain. 

Days earlier, as Susanne sat in her office that overlooked a great canal, she received a message concerning the lease on that particular space the Kodak Theatre happened to be in. 

"Their lease is up Miss Wilkins."

"Well then have it destroyed. I'm very busy." She leaned from her desk to see what ruckus was in the lobby. Luggage salesmen were being thrown to the dogs and her rugs were being vacuumed by the robots from Daft Punk. "I'm very busy." she said again and decided to eat a jar of peanut butter and pass out under the table. 

Moments before being tossed into the Grand Canyon, Susanne remembered this and they all ejected as quickly as possible. They all kept hover boots on them for just such an occasion. And now where were they? What was the point of all this? What kind of messed up story is this anyway, and where is all of this going? I don't know. I don't know. I'm sorry.