Chapters 11 and 12, by Susanne
Chapter 11 – Creating a Monster
The faces of the girls showed a mix extreme panic with confusion as to how they could be feeling turbulence in the jet from Susanne’s bedroom on the ground. Chunks of plaster flew in every direction. The girls huddled closer together as the wailing NEEEEEEEERRROOOOOO of a falling, pimped-out jet filled their ears.
“Crap! No, I just got Bruce to finish the dry wall!!”
“Hey! You know the rules of the huddle circle, Susanne. Faces down!”
Regardless of how they felt the turbulence before, without question they were feeling it now as the jet came smashing through the ceiling, stopping just in time to completely destroy everything in Susanne’s sister’s room. Ringo Starr jumped from the pilot’s seat,
“Okay, that’s all well and done. Where’s the five bucks you owe me?”
Susanne searched through a few piles on her desk and managed to find a bunch of change.
“Excellent job, man. Tell me you set up the camera this time.”
“Don’t worry, that shot is going to look great on the big screen.”
“Sweet. What about that one we set to catch the look on Faye’s face?”
“I thought that’s the camera you were talking about before! But they’re both set anyway. Tell your dad he can set that birdhouse back on the roof again… Um, once you fix the roof.”
“Ya, okay.”
The rest of the squad had quickly tired of their casual banter. Heather stepped forward.
“Um… Susanne? Are you just working around to telling us something…?”
“No…. … …Oh, wait yes! This is just a little stunt we set up for the end of the sci-fi movie I’m working on, starring the TGS. You know, that whole plane goes down in a blaze of glory kind of ending. Now we just have to write the rest of it and we’re golden. …And, I’ll do that tomorrow.”
Ringo stepped in, “Actually, Heather, it’s great that you brought it up-”
“I didn’t bring it up! You crashed a plane through the-”
“-because I have the scripts for you right now.”
“I thought you hadn’t written it yet,” said Ali.
“No, we have the lines done. Lines and story are two different things, trust me, it’s pretty complex. This is how the movie business works,” he insisted.
One was tempted to question this, but then again, he insisted.
Shooting for the behind the scenes special features began earlyish the next morning. After a particularly inspiring cup of hazelnut coffee, Susanne spat out an entire plot line and they were ready to begin searching through the mountain hide-out for props and costumes. First of all, they were lucky to have found a mysterious room full of incandescent green paint, googley eyes, and antennas, but when it came down to whether or not they possessed a giant purple octopus created from the bewitched remains of a Russian mafia turned to vampires, they really had to sit back and give the matter some serious thought. Eventually it was decided that they might actually have to hire some other actors.
An ad went up that day over the internet for an actor to star opposite the TGS in their production, and though responses were few (but Lando was all over it) more people had seen the add then they would had preferred…. WooOOOOoooOOooo….
Chapter 12 – Using Our Nightmares to Become Rich and Famous
Deep in the forgotten undersea mines of the South Atlantic Ocean, an eager light glinted in the eyes of the Man of the East as she read and reread the screen in front of her.
Wanted: One actor to play opposite Teen Girl Squad in new, sure to be classic, Mobula. Tall, purple, eight-armed, Russian, non-smoker preferred. Must enjoy purple, eight arms, vampires, and long walks on the beach. Contact the girls at princessilikeboysshortylil-devilXXXtoogood4U_2005@hotmail.com for details. SUSANNE ROCKS SUSANNE ROCKS SUSANNE RO
The Man of the East thought for a moment, “It’s almost as if they’ve walked into a trap, without me having to set a trap at all… Which would make it…. Some kind of… Device… For my… Using?” She shook her head and started over. “I have to put someone else in charge of the evil plotting. The last thing I need is another ice cream fiasco. Why did I have to go Hagen-Das? Of all the-”
The Man of the East’s ears perked up at the sound of the front door slamming. An exhausted, aggravated, and soaked to the gills Hilary Duff stomped into the room.
“Why did you just leave me out there on the bottom of the ocean?? Do you know how long I’ve been walking around out there trying to find this underwater mine? You’re lucky I can store so much air in my head otherwise I would be dead by now! You know?? Do you knoooow how long I’ve been walking??? Do you??”
“Relax Duffman. You’re just in time. Take a seat. And stop dripping on the rug.”
Hilary also glanced at the screen, and after they finished sounding out all the big words together it was time to make some jot notes in the big book of evil deeds. For the sake of obliterating a large block of useless conversation, allow me to tell you that it was eventually decided that together, The Man of the East and Duffman would respond to the internet ad, and send the girls a REAL Russian mafia vampire octopus in disguise as a fake one. It was also decided that for interest’s sake, this would be the main source of conflict and concern for much of the story.
The faces of the girls showed a mix extreme panic with confusion as to how they could be feeling turbulence in the jet from Susanne’s bedroom on the ground. Chunks of plaster flew in every direction. The girls huddled closer together as the wailing NEEEEEEEERRROOOOOO of a falling, pimped-out jet filled their ears.
“Crap! No, I just got Bruce to finish the dry wall!!”
“Hey! You know the rules of the huddle circle, Susanne. Faces down!”
Regardless of how they felt the turbulence before, without question they were feeling it now as the jet came smashing through the ceiling, stopping just in time to completely destroy everything in Susanne’s sister’s room. Ringo Starr jumped from the pilot’s seat,
“Okay, that’s all well and done. Where’s the five bucks you owe me?”
Susanne searched through a few piles on her desk and managed to find a bunch of change.
“Excellent job, man. Tell me you set up the camera this time.”
“Don’t worry, that shot is going to look great on the big screen.”
“Sweet. What about that one we set to catch the look on Faye’s face?”
“I thought that’s the camera you were talking about before! But they’re both set anyway. Tell your dad he can set that birdhouse back on the roof again… Um, once you fix the roof.”
“Ya, okay.”
The rest of the squad had quickly tired of their casual banter. Heather stepped forward.
“Um… Susanne? Are you just working around to telling us something…?”
“No…. … …Oh, wait yes! This is just a little stunt we set up for the end of the sci-fi movie I’m working on, starring the TGS. You know, that whole plane goes down in a blaze of glory kind of ending. Now we just have to write the rest of it and we’re golden. …And, I’ll do that tomorrow.”
Ringo stepped in, “Actually, Heather, it’s great that you brought it up-”
“I didn’t bring it up! You crashed a plane through the-”
“-because I have the scripts for you right now.”
“I thought you hadn’t written it yet,” said Ali.
“No, we have the lines done. Lines and story are two different things, trust me, it’s pretty complex. This is how the movie business works,” he insisted.
One was tempted to question this, but then again, he insisted.
Shooting for the behind the scenes special features began earlyish the next morning. After a particularly inspiring cup of hazelnut coffee, Susanne spat out an entire plot line and they were ready to begin searching through the mountain hide-out for props and costumes. First of all, they were lucky to have found a mysterious room full of incandescent green paint, googley eyes, and antennas, but when it came down to whether or not they possessed a giant purple octopus created from the bewitched remains of a Russian mafia turned to vampires, they really had to sit back and give the matter some serious thought. Eventually it was decided that they might actually have to hire some other actors.
An ad went up that day over the internet for an actor to star opposite the TGS in their production, and though responses were few (but Lando was all over it) more people had seen the add then they would had preferred…. WooOOOOoooOOooo….
Chapter 12 – Using Our Nightmares to Become Rich and Famous
Deep in the forgotten undersea mines of the South Atlantic Ocean, an eager light glinted in the eyes of the Man of the East as she read and reread the screen in front of her.
The Man of the East thought for a moment, “It’s almost as if they’ve walked into a trap, without me having to set a trap at all… Which would make it…. Some kind of… Device… For my… Using?” She shook her head and started over. “I have to put someone else in charge of the evil plotting. The last thing I need is another ice cream fiasco. Why did I have to go Hagen-Das? Of all the-”
The Man of the East’s ears perked up at the sound of the front door slamming. An exhausted, aggravated, and soaked to the gills Hilary Duff stomped into the room.
“Why did you just leave me out there on the bottom of the ocean?? Do you know how long I’ve been walking around out there trying to find this underwater mine? You’re lucky I can store so much air in my head otherwise I would be dead by now! You know?? Do you knoooow how long I’ve been walking??? Do you??”
“Relax Duffman. You’re just in time. Take a seat. And stop dripping on the rug.”
Hilary also glanced at the screen, and after they finished sounding out all the big words together it was time to make some jot notes in the big book of evil deeds. For the sake of obliterating a large block of useless conversation, allow me to tell you that it was eventually decided that together, The Man of the East and Duffman would respond to the internet ad, and send the girls a REAL Russian mafia vampire octopus in disguise as a fake one. It was also decided that for interest’s sake, this would be the main source of conflict and concern for much of the story.
posted by Susanne at 5:06 PM
3 Comments:
Hey, what happened to chapter 10?
It's uhh... like the 13th floor, you know? Sure I say it was chapter 11, but we all know it was 10. Just don't say anything, you know how it is.
Was it really necessary that ... "Duffman" be reintroduced into our story?... you better have planned to be going somewhere with her!
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