Chapter 9: TGS Makes it Big

By: Heather

Well, after a luxurious day at the spa, the girls returned home to continue- whatever it was they were doing. However, The Aron had cancelled all of their shows since- well, everyone thought that they were dead. Yet, it was quite the opposite- as they were alive...... *cough* They had become the first ever survivors of being sent out to sea on a giant slab of chocolate ice cream. But- there were no worries since as soon as word got out that TGS was still alive and well, there was huge publicity on the event. Ratings for the Campbellford radio station sky-rocketed- or at least they should have since you can't really keep track of who's listening to the station at any given time... I don't think.

Anyhow, this stunt also aroused attention from unlocal agencies nation-wide. The girl's survival was no longer the talk of the town- but of Canada and the US alike. They had been invited to appear on many talk shows including David Letterman and Ellen DeGeneres where they appeared as performers as well to promote the album due at the end of November.

However, some of the girls handeled the fame better than others. Emily soon had more button-up shirts than Jessica Simpson had shoes. Alison would go nowhere without her diamond collared feline, Danté, and Heather went about the day practicing her photo-shoot poses. Susanne seemed the only one capable of handeling the pressure- then again, she spent all of her time off locked in her sound-proof room.

Often, the girls would only ever see each other during press time at which there would be a quick pose, or subtle nudge out of the way to get the most camera attention. After a while the girls began to notice that Susanne stopped nudging, just politely smiled in the background and that was that.

So, the girls decided to pay a visit to Susanne's room, straighten things out. Emily reached up to knock but Heather shook her head "She won't let us in on her own terms..." so she reached into her pocket and pulled out a bullwhip that Susanne had given to her for her birthday.

"Now, everybody- stand back!" Heather whispered. With one quick crack of the whip the door creaked open. There standing before them was Susanne hovering about three feet above the ground.

"....What the?" cried Alison, clapping her hand over her mouth. Susanne's eyes opened, startled, as she fell to the ground with a thud (coughonomatopeoiacough).

"Guys- what are you doing?" Susanne moaned rubbing her sore backside.

"Err....um..." Alison searched through her purse in panic, "....Fudgicle?..." she dangled the half melted thing above Susanne's head, who immediately grabbed it, took a large bite and held the remainder to her butt. We'd all like to think that this was because of Alison thinking ahead....but.... what I am saying?.... Of course it was!

"...Um, well..." Emily's eyes scanned the room and fell unto a drum set, "Wait a minute- you play the drums!- how come you didn't tell...."

"Um, Emily..." Heather interjected, "Susanne plays them in our band... remember?"

"Oh yeah..."

Alison started into a fit of laughter, and when she could finally contain herself, she wiped the tears from her eyes, "....What....aha....do you.....aha......like, practice....ahahaha....or something?"

At that, all of the girls began laughing- laughing to the very end of yet another happy, unsuspenseful ending chapter.....

But wait!

At that very moment the alarm for the jet began going off, they were experiencing some extreme turbulence, it didn't look good for TGS this time...

DA DA DUHN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chapter 8- A Chocolate Bagel

Chocolate ice cream is probably the most controversial ice cream to be sitting on in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. The good part about sitting on chocolate ice cream is the fact that it tastes very, very good meanwhile the worse thing about sitting on chocolate ice cream in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean is the fact that it stains clothing. So while you can eat all the ice cream you can, you really shouldn’t because it will make you sticky, stained and most importantly it is your only chance of survival. If only Emily were able to get this point through to Susanne who was no longer trying to secretly eat the ice cream but had actually eaten her way into a giant hole within the ice cream.

“Guys….I’m cold, sticky and well…Could I get a little help please?” asked Susanne.

The girls reached in and grabbed Susanne by the arms and pulled her out. Luckily at the same time, Hilary Duff thought she had become so skinny that gravity would no longer affect her so she stepped out into middle of the hole. “See girls…I told you I weighed almost nothing!” she bragged. She then fell suddenly and to everyone’s delight fell right through the bottom of the ice cream. Unfortunately that left a widening whole in the middle of the ice cream which was rapidly filling up with water. It was now more of an ice cream doughnut or bagel rather than whatever it was before. To make matters worse, Heather thought that a game of tips was in order, so she began licking her fingers and slapping Ali, without any consent really. “No strawberry is a better flavour than chocolate…SLAP…don’t you know anything about ice cream? SLAP…I can’t believe you didn’t….SLAP…choose strawberry…SLAP…what is wrong…SLAP…with…SLAP…you?”

Emily paced back and forth so much that she became dizzy and fell in a big pile of melting ice cream. Title waves of chocolate ice cream erupted from both sides of her propelling the rest of the girls off of the chocolate ice cream bagel. Emily slowly slid off herself.

“Okay who can speak dolphin?” asked Alison.

“No, no, no who can speak whale?” asked Emily

“No….who can speak lobster. Lobsters will get us back to shore.” Said Heather.
Just then the girls heard a series of clickings, tiskings, loud notes, short high pitced notes, small notes, ee’s, tee’s and everything in between coming from…

“SUSANNE?” they all said in unison, because that was what they did sometimes.

“What?” Susanne said. “Didn’t you know that I can speak all three of those languages? I thought it came up in a conversation”

The girls all hitched a ride with surrounding sea life. Heather with a lobster, Emily with a whale, Alison with a dolphin and Susanne with a shark she was able to tame within a few minutes, because apparently she was a shark tamer on the side.

The sea creatures took the girls all the way to London. London, England that is. They stepped off the creatures and did that very provocative shake down that girls do in movies, then put on their nun outfits to counteract the provocative shake down and walked up the beach. That is if London has beaches. It is likely that they do, but it rains a lot in England so I would assume that all of the sand from the beached would turn into mud, thus what is the point of going to the beach if you are just going to lay around in the mud all day? Might as well go to the spa instead, and that’s exactly what teen girl squad did. They went to the spa. Luckily Emily remembered that the Man of the East was still out there, but thought that they could probably handle that next chapter. And so it was. Teen girl squad spent the day at the squad. There was no bickering or arguing about who was better Relient K or Ben Harper, just a day of relaxation. And that is the end……of this chapter.

“Carpe diem. Sieze the day, boys. Make your life extraordinary”
Dead Poets Society

cough (BEN HARPER) cough

Oh yeah. Hilary Duff decided to live under the sea with the mermaids. Although she didn’t realize that she couldn’t breathe under water and well you can put two and tow together. Her feet curled up and there will be a fight over the sparkly shoes, but they do match Susanne’s outfit best today, so she will probably win.