New Teen Girl Squad!!

I mean the cartoon, not the next chapter, silly! Yes that is right, cartoon #8 is up right here www.homestarrunner.com wooo hooo and we should all go check it out!

Chapter 4: Nap time
By: Heather

The girls had heard all about naptime but never imagined what it was actually like. All that they knew was that being caught out during nap time was lethal. Anyone who was caught was never seen again - this included one of the girls close friends, evan, who could not make it to his home fast enough before the padlocks had sealed him out.

A darkness began to draw over them - the opaque, light reflecting dome had begun to slide over town. Emily, who had researched the situation knew that they only had minutes before they too would be trapped. The ominous clicking of padlocks echoed through the lifeless streets of town. Emily frantically reached for the nearest door knob which was thankfully still unlocked. Almost the moment she had opened it, she knew that it was a mistake - the inescapable couples sqauare-dancing hall lingered before her. This was the one place that the rebellious 60-year-olds would come, who insisted that they didn't require naps. Emily was frozen, her mouth slightly ajar as Helga, the instructer came wabbling over waving them in.

Thankfully, the quick thinking, less stunned, Heather shut the door as fast as she could.

They scurried on to the next building, but it was too late. The infamous rumble of the dome closed completely sent shivers up their spines as they stood in complete silence.

Suddenly, as though it was timed the ground fell beneath them sending the girls under until moments later they had fallen into something - something bouncy, yet soft.

"It's a pool of foam balls! WEEEEE!" shouted Susanne who was too wrapped up in her personal pleasure to notice that Heather and Alison had gone to help Emily up who had missed the pool and fallen on the dirt floor.

When they had reached her frantic with fear - she was simply sitting there tapping away at her metal contraption which she had decided to nickname "Rump-E-Tron 2000."

"What are you doing?" asked Heather.

"Well, a rock seems to have slightly dinted it, but it broke my fall preventing a endless number of potential injuries, such as... blah blah blah..."

Heather and Alison who had decided that backing away slowly would do the trick as they coaxed Susanne out of the pool with a half- melted fudgicle that Alison had found in her purse.

They began to travel in the only tunnel possible where they came across something or someone huddled to the side. As it paid them no acknowledgement
Heather picked up a stick and began poking at it.

"Hey now!" said a familiar voice.

"Evan?" They asked simutaneously.

"Ya. Sorry I didn't hear you - I was listening to the best song."

"So, ahh, where are we exactly?"

Before he had the chance to answer they were each snatched up into potato sacks and dragged off down further into the tunnel.

Guest Writer!!!

Hello Everyone. Well, the new story is going well and to mix things up the Teen Girls have decided to bring in a guest writer for a chapter. The Guest Writer will be none other than Evan!!!! He is a devoted reader of Teen Girl Squad and lives in Campbellford and therefore is very knowledgeable about the antagonists of story II. He will be writing chapter 5 so prepare to laugh...a lot. I mean it, he is one funny guy, oh, ya, he is a guy (however he does go by the name Evelyn on certain occasions)...wow, fist male author to write on here-what an exciting event!!! so watch out for chapter 5!!!! wooooo

chapter 3

Chapter 3 – Life Under the Elderly
By: Susanne

It was mid afternoon. Had it been a better one, any given person would have taken this time to wander aimlessly around the town, maybe grab a coffee and a whole wheat bagel, but with no real intention of doing anything. Things had changed since the old ones had settled in.

Who knows how long their envious eyes had regarded us with quiet ridicule? Hidden behind the foggy glaze of cataracts was a remarkable intelligence amused by our awkward visits, and well fitting clothes. And so they bided their time. Day by day, we lived our lives without the merest notion that we would be taken so easily. With out warning, a haze of fear and lilac perfume settled on the town of Campbellford.

Imagine movie theaters choked by public programming, candy shops replaced with orthopedic shoe stores, and rock music hushed by the straw hats and striped jackets of barbershop quartets. Life had become a never-ending nightmare of pastel colours as every haven in the small town was suddenly taken by the elderly as a place to gather daily, and discuss the possibility of meeting tomorrow to discuss the possibilities of meeting the day after that to discuss the gathering they had that very day.

But below the constant creek of front porch rocking chairs, there remained the echo of an unplanned, reckless guitar solo. A plan tumbled through the minds of our youth like balls in a bingo machine, but life under the elderly had already taken its toll.

“I’m telling you it’s time we fought back! This is our town! Our bakeries! Our LIVES!!” shouted Emily from the platform in the hollow mountain. It was the last safe place in town because no one knew about it, and the generous Teen Girl Squad had now opened its doors to the kids of Campbellford in hopes of starting a rebellion.

“They’re a spiritless bunch I tell ya. Look at this,” Alison walked through the crowds of kids, slapping people here and there and speaking out of the side of her mouth. No one was really sure whom she was trying to imitate but decided it was all good. “They’ve got no fight left in ‘em!”

Emily sighed and raised her voice again, but it was no use. Susanne and Heather were crowd surfing off the platform again, and it wasn’t helping.

“Listen, guys, if we’re going to take down the elderly we need a way to get these kid’s attention. It’s 42 to 1 here, and you’re not contributing anything!”

Susanne asked to be passed back to the platform and then stopped to think.
“Seems to me we have to get their attention some how. I mean, it’s 42 to 1, and I’m not exactly contributing anything.”

“Are you even paying attention?”

“No. Wait- YES!”

Heather dropped onto the stage and decided the microphone just needed to be louder, but while fiddling with the controls accidentally sent N’SYNC blasting through the mountain. That certainly got everyone’s attention.

“Right…” started Emily, hoping to get past that horribly disturbing moment. “Yes, well, as I was saying before, we need to organize ourselves if we want to make a difference.”

The cave fell silent as the Teen Girl Squad explained to the kids the seriousness of the situation.

Today was a day unlike any other; the beginning of the end it seemed. Who knows how long the Teen Girls had to succeed in returning the elderly to their routine of pills and reading magazines with birds on them before they completely upset the precious balance of old and not that old but lying about it anyway versus young, at a probability of 42 to 1? NO ONE! That’s who! They needed to take fast action! But what was the plan?

This was the plan.

They didn’t have one. So leaving the kids in the safety of the mountain, they jumped on their scooters and started to patrol the town. Things were oddly quiet. If not for the wind through the trees it would be completely quiet, and suddenly someone leaned from an upstairs window and went “SSSHHH!!!” to the wind who became quiet and embarrassed. The girls stopped, and their eyes opened wide with fear. It was one o’clock. Nap time had begun.

Story II Chapter 1 and 2

CHAPTER 1-emily
The Teen Girls were back in their secret hideout, the cave in the mountain and enjoying their time off of stressful adventures and missions. Susanne was curled up in a corner reading, Ali and Heather were listening to music and Emily had just walked in.
"Hi guys, I just got back from the doctor. We decided to take extra precautions concerning by butt’s safety. As you all know it has come across some hard times in the past, so may I introduce to you.....The Iron Butt!!!"
Emily held up what looked like a large metal plate which was bent in the shape of a butt.
"Oh, so it’s like plate armour but for your butt!!" Susanne exclaimed
"Well yes, this part, but theres more" Emily said "there is also a protective air pocket of sorts which attaches onto the outside, to slow down any high speed objects which are coming towards my butt. Here I’ll show you!"
Emily strapped the Iron Butt on and then pulled what looked to be a parachute out of her purse. It was a parachute. Emily attached the parachute to the Iron Butt and then pulled out a pump and started to pump air into the parachute until it was full and about the size of a beetle car. Emily looked very pleased with herself. The other girls looked very fearfully at Emily. Susanne decided the best thing to do in a situation like this was to continue reading. Ali and Heather were trying very very hard not to laugh. As friends it is of course a rule that if your friend looks ridiculously stupid and does not seem to realize it, it is your unfortunate duty to point it out to them as gently as possible. Ali decided that this was too good of an opportunity and started to edge off to her bag to get her camera. Heather also did not follow the rule, well, one part of it.
"You Look Soooooo Stupid!!!" she said which was in no way gentle at all.
Emily, needless to say, already knew this but had decided to sacrifice appearance for safety... well, appearance for appearance since this was all to protect her precious butt. And the iron part made her feel like Xena. She waddled over to a chair and started the difficult job of trying to sit in it while wearing the Iron Butt.
Susanne suddenly got up, looked out of the window and then started leaping wildly around the room. "YESSSSSSSSS OH YA!!!!!!!" she cried excitedly. "WE GOT ON PIMP MY RIDE!!!!!!!! XZIBIT is coming up here right now!!!"
Emily shot up out of the chair and screamed "You mean there is going to be a camera!?!? I’m going to be on TV?!?!? FINALLY!!! Oh My God, I’m going to go get my head shots to show the producer, this is sooo cool!!..." it was at this time that Emily remembered with horror that she was wearing the Iron Butt. She ripped it off and tossed it under the cushions. She wouldn’t need it anymore anyway. Now that she was about to be famous she could hire 11 full time body guards to protect her butt.
"How much time before he gets to the door?!?!" Ali, Heather and Emily asked. Susanne peaked out of the window again.
"About 20 seconds, lets get going, girls!!!"
Everyone knew what to do. This was operation Wigpimp.
Step 1 Heather quickly changed the music to Xzibit’s latest CD.
Step 2 Emily rolled up one of her pant legs and practised doing excessive hand movements when talking.
Step 3 Ali tossed on a lot of jewelry, officially called "bling".
Step 4 Susanne reacquainted herself with her native language of Wigger.so that she could communicate with Xzibit better.
Step 5 They all try to look very casual and innocent.
*Diiing Donnnng*
Step 6 Susanne moved to open the door but then she remembered that they did not have a doorbell. She waited a moment longer...
*Knock Knock Knock*
Step 6 Susanne opened the door, saw Xzibit and freaked out
"Oh My God, Thank you MTV!!! Whoooo HOOOOOO YAAAAAAAAAA"
Step 7 The rest of the girls came out to see what all of the disturbance was and joined in on the freaking out.
CHAPTER 2-emily
With the Jet gone on Pimp My Ride for a week the Teen Girls were now using little motorized scooters as transportation. They were down in Campbellford in Dooher’s Bakery when they decided to take a ride around town. They were just going past another retirement home when Ali spotted a ladder coming out of the third floor window. They were about to scoot on by when they saw an old woman appear at the window and start to climb down. She must have been at least 87.
The Teen Girls all ran forwards trying to save the poor old woman from slipping and certain death. She did get to the ground safely and was quickly surrounded by the concerned girls.
"Are you ok?"
"Do you need to lie down for a bit"
"those people in the retirement home should take better care of you"
"Lets get you back inside"
Suddenly she ripped from their helpful and supporting grasp and took a few steps away
"You don’t seem to get it do you?" she asked them with a hint of menace "I didn’t just wander down here, lassies. I am escaping...We all are!!! HAHAAAAAHAHAHAH HACCC A GHAAGAA..." *several minutes of hacking* "Come on everyone!!!!!" she screamed up at the window
To the Teen Girl’s horror a long line of old people started to escape from the retirement home and hobble gleefully past them and out into the city of Campbellford. The owner of the nursing home came running out of the doors with his hands waving and a terrified look on his face and stopped beside the girls
"Oh no!! I have been fearing this day for many years....I just prayed that it would never be in my lifetime.." he said
The girls looked at the owner.
"What do you mean?" the asked
"Well" he replied "there are approximately 42 old people for every young person in the town of Campbellford. We have managed to keep them locked up and heavily sedated up until now, but it appears that they have finally escaped. They want revenge for all of those years. Those ones that just escaped are probably helping the other old people escape from the 19 other nursing homes and retirement homes in Campbellford. Theres no stopping them now. We are doomed, DOOMED!!!!!!!!!!!" He ended dramatically and the Teen Girls knew he was right. But they were not a bunch of girls to just sit around. They would do something to try and save the town from eternal re-runs of Laurence Whelk and overwhelming lilac perfume. This would be their hardest task yet, but they could not manage the thought of the whole town closing down at 1 in the afternoon so everyone could have their naps. This time is was personal. The enemy: the Elderly. They were dangerous, not to be messed around with. The Teen Girls were going where they had never gone before. The battle between young and old has begun!!!!!!!

Much as I'd like to pretend there is more to our story than the little blurb Heather has given you so far, I think I'm going to change the topic of this sentence entirely. We are now accepting title suggestions for the story we just finished. Sock-it-to-us!
-susanne

Check it out!

We hope that you enjoyed TGS's very first story, we had fun making it. A new story is already in the making.
Sneek preview headline- Seniors have escaped from campbellford- and are taking over

DA DA DAH!!!!

Love,

Heather, Emily, Alison and Susanne